


It Makes Me Laugh

by dreyars



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Partners in Crime au, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 12:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3290303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreyars/pseuds/dreyars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They'd been doing this for all of 10 years. 10 years together, 10 years of bliss. 10 years of the biggest joke either of them had ever heard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Makes Me Laugh

**Author's Note:**

> Another prompt fill for the AU meme on tumblr. This time it was requested by tumblr user fantasyatsyrk who asked for Bokuto & Kuroo with #11 - partners in crime au.

It started ten years ago almost as a joke.  A “bro I dare you to do this”. A “you’ll never get away with it, but do it anyway”.  They were 17, seniors in high school despite the fact that they never showed up more than once a week to stare at the way the class president’s skirt rode up when she gave weekly announcements every Monday morning before classes started.  Not like it really mattered that they were truant 4 days out of 5 as Tetsurou was the only son of the chief of police who struck fear into the hearts of any teacher who _dared_ suggest his golden boy was anything less than perfect, and Koutaro’s parents had given more money to the school than they knew what to do with for the express purpose of making sure their son’s lackluster performance appeared on his transcript as flying colors.

It was just a joke.

A ten year long joke that has come to a cutting punch line that neither of them anticipated during the first recitation.

The first time they did it was on a Wednesday, midway through the spring semester of their senior year. They had gotten caught in a rainstorm and had holed up in a six table café with no one else besides the girl behind the front counter.  They had already weaseled a couple free coffees out of her by playing on her sympathies.

“I wonder what else she’d do.”

Tetsurou looked up from his phone, curious as to what Koutaro was getting at. “What do you mean, bro?”

Koutaro looked over his shoulder to make sure that the girl was still sitting behind the counter before he called out to her.  “Baby, you’re a college student aren’t you?”

The girl looked up from her book and quickly affirmed that yes she was.

“So this job’s helping you pay for school I bet?” Another quick nod was all Koutaro needed before turning back to Tetsurou. “Wanna make a bet?”

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow at his friend and let a devious grin slip onto his face, enjoying the possibility of a challenge.  “Oh?”

Koutaro leaned forward, whispering so the clerk couldn’t hear him. “Bet that girl’d suck your dick for 100 bucks.”

“How is that a bet? She’d probably do it for 50.” Tetsurou looked over Koutaro’s shoulder at the girl, waving cheerfully when she looked up at him. 

“If she refuses, I’ll suck your dick, man.”  Koutaro straightned up a bit and leaned back now that most of the dirt was out of the way.  “And if she does it, then you just have to pay her.”

Used to Koutaro’s usual betting terms, he simply grinned as he considered the options. “It’s almost like you’re saying your skills are worth 100 bucks.”

“Well that’s not _not_ what I’m saying, so I’ll let you be the one to decide. If you win.” Koutaro crossed his arms over his chest and stared Tetsurou down with a gleam in his eye.  “Are you in or out?”

“Are you stupid?” Tetsurou promptly stood up, walking over to the counter as Koutaro watched him out of the corner of his eye.  He turned back around to his phone and coffee when he saw  Tetsurou lean over the counter and whisper something into the girl’s ear.

It took all of five minutes for Koutaro to hear a door click, signaling that the girl had led his bud to a back room of the shop.  He took a quick look around the café in case someone had walked into the building when he wasn’t paying attention.  When he was sure no one was around to see, Koutaro approached the front counter himself.

\-----

Koutaro was standing with their bags in his hand by the time Tetsurou emerged from the back room.  He waited for a second for the girl to follow him before shrugging his shoulders and dropping three 20’s on the counter.  He grabbed his bag from Koutaro’s hand, following him out the front door and into the rain.

“Hope you didn’t cheat that girl. What happened to the 100?”

“She agreed for 50. Didn’t have any 10’s so I gave her a little tip.” Tetsurou opened up his wallet and sighed when he saw nothing but black leather looking back at him.  “Good thing she didn’t ask for more because that’s all I had for the week.”

“Hey bro, don’t worry about it.” Koutaro reached into his pocket, digging out a handful of bills before handing them to his friend.  “Consider this repayment for all the times you covered me for food and shit.”

Tetsurou gladly took the money, frowning slightly when he realized just how thick the stack was. “Kou, where did you get this? I know your parents don’t give you an allowance anymore ever since you broke the glass door in the back of your house.”

“I overheard the girl on the phone when we first walked in.  Calling for maintenance on the safe.” Koutaro fanned himself with the short stack of bills still in his hand before stuffing it back into his pocket. “Didn’t think about it until the bet, but a guy’s gotta get a bit of cash somewhere.”

“Dude you gave me like 200 dollars alone.” Tetsurou could feel a bit of panic welling up in his stomach, and he would’ve shoved the money back in Koutaro’s hands if he hadn’t already stashed it away in his wallet.

“Chill, man. That’s why we’re going to school now.  If the teachers see us there, that’ll be enough for your dad to get both of us off the hook, right?”

Tetsurou frowned, doubting his friend’s logic.  Sure his dad had gotten them out of some pretty bad scrapes so far, but he wasn’t sure about this.  “No harm in trying, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit!” Koutaro threw an arm over his shoulder, pulling him down to pat his hand against the taller boy’s messy hair. 

Tetsurou smiled down at him, trying to mask the unease settling in his stomach as his wallet weighed down his pocket.

\----

Tetsurou had never spent that money, even though he had spent every single dollar since then.  A nice apartment to share with Kou, nicer clothes, electronics, everything they needed to have the life they used to only dream of.  The first few years, their parent’s status held the suspicions at bay. Tetsurou’s dad would fudge information to give them an alibi, even though he figured out pretty quickly what they were doing.  He wouldn’t let any bad rep stain his boy’s record, and that was all good and dandy because by the time he retired from the force when Tetsurou was 23, he and Kou had already gotten so good at what they were doing that it didn’t matter that they no longer had their first line of defense.

They started out small after that first petty theft.  Seeing what Kou could take from a department store while Tetsurou distracted the clerk.  Kou sifting through a girl’s purse while she sat plastered on Tetsurou’s front, completely oblivious to the world.  Kou taking just enough that nothing was missed in someone’s apartment while Tetsuoru took them out on a date long enough to keep them out for a few hours.

It was always like that. Tetsurou was better at the deception, Koutaro was better at taking what he wanted without being seen.

It was good. They got what they needed for a couple months in one night sometimes, and the rest of it they could play off like nothing was a big deal and they were just a couple bro’s getting by after college.

It got even better when Tetsurou figured out the formula to turn their target into putty without actually fucking them.  It didn’t matter. Man, woman, whoever.  He could read them like a book and tell them exactly what they wanted to turn them into jelly without leaving all the physical elements behind.  It didn’t really matter considering it was easier to celebrate the way Koutaro wanted to celebrate when his dick wasn’t worn out from a night of pleasing some rich divorcee who’s only thought was to get her ex jealous.

Kou was better than any of their self-loathing targets anyway.

They had started fucking around sometime during their second year of doing this. Kou had kissed him after he returned from his latest arrangement and after the initial ‘what the fuck was that’, things spiraled out of control until Tetsurou had certifiable rug burn on his nipples and a distant gratefulness for the fact that Kou had scored so much cash that it didn’t matter that he wouldn’t be able to walk for the next couple days.

It was then that most of his doubts about their situation flew out the window. Like yeah, he could do this forever if he had Kou by his side.  It was no big deal. The robberies and the deceptions and the heists.  If Kou was there, then they could run away forever and be set for life.

If Kou was there. It’d be okay.

It would all be alright.

But it was a joke.

A joke that was never really funny.

A joke that definitely wasn’t funny now that his hair was getting yanked out by the roots as a pair of cops held his head back to identify his face.

“Yup. That’s the one.” The cop turned his head to the side, speaking into the crackling radio on his shoulder. “We’ve got ‘em both here. Yup. One down, one for questioning. Need an EMT asap, officer got shot in the arm.”

Tetsurou closed his eyes as the burning in his scalp reached onto his forehead as the cop continued to yank him back by his hair. His hands were already cuffed behind his back and he knew there was no point in moving as he felt the barrel of a pistol press in between his shoulder blades.

Everything was cold.

The wind on his face.

The metal around his wrists.

The gun to his back.

The limp hand still gripping onto his pant leg.

The tears on his face.

He wished he could look down, but every time he opened his mouth to promise that he wouldn’t run if the cop would just let go of his fucking hair, it got pulled back harder until he was looking up at the cloudy night sky instead of what he should be. 

Kou was still beside him. But it wasn’t what he meant.

Everything was cold apart from the blood pooling around his knees as the warmth leaked out of Kou’s back.

They had been running. They had fucked up.  They messed with the new police chief’s ex-wife by mistake. They didn’t know. Tetsurou didn’t know, or he never would have touched her.

He still wasn’t even sure if it was a trap meant to lure them in and shut them down.

It worked, regardless of the fact.

The shots had rang out clear and sharp in the night air, and Kou had told him to keep running even as he fell to the ground.  His hand slipped from his fingers, and his knees hit the pavement as Tetsurou tried to pick him up and carry him.

He was too heavy.

He was too heavy even as the one thing keeping him alive bled out onto the blacktop.

Tetsurou kissed him one last time before they were tackled by the police, managing to stay close enough together for Koutaro to dig his fingers into his thigh, nails like claws even through the dark fabric of his jeans.

He struggled long enough to hold onto him. To hear one last ‘Testu, I love you’ before his last breath got choked up with the blood that was flooding his lungs.  When Kou stopped moving is when he stopped moving, even though he still got smacked in the head with a night stick for resisting arrest.

He just wished they would’ve shot him too.

He knew they were going to get caught one day, because with all good jokes, a punchline must come.

But this joke wasn’t over.

While Kou rotted six feet under, he’d be locked up in a six foot cell.

Tetsurou couldn’t help but let out a sick laugh as he gets roughly picked up from the pavement, the gravel digging into his shins and knees even through his pants.  Kou’s hand fell from his thigh and onto the asphalt with a soft thud, and Tetsurou tried to turn back around and look at him, but the cops pushed him forward, into the back of the car before speeding away.  The last sight he has of him is a white sheet covered lump on the ground, surrounded by flashing red and blue lights.

This joke had two punchlines and it was hard to finish telling it on his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Dont ask me to do things like this because I'm just going to kill everyone tbh.
> 
> Also first time writing Bokuto in any serious way so yay for that, hopefully I didn't butcher him too much.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry for this.


End file.
